Friday, 11 August 2017

Manchester Author Event 18-20th August 2017

I will be signing at the following event.

This will be the second event of its kind hosted by Scarlett Enterprises, and is going to be an annual event on this site.
The signing and gig will take place in a large marquee measuring 21 x 15 metres, with a smaller marquee accommodating the beer tent & refreshments. In the evening there will be a BBQ and other food available. Afternoon tea of sandwiches and cakes will be available to purchase, through the day. An ice-cream van is also going to be onsite.The signing proper will take place on Saturday the 19th of August 2017, at the Lancashire Mining Museum in Astley Green, Manchester, M29 7JB.
The museum will be open for you to explore on the Saturday and Sunday. The engine will be running especially for the event on Saturday at 2.15 pm. Come and enjoy an unusual day out.
The Sunday is FREE entry and some of the authors will still be in attendance to buy signed paperback books from, and writing workshops.
Through the day on the Saturday an author book signing will take place, with morning and afternoon, and all-day sessions available.
Morning session will run 11 am – 1.30 pm, afternoon 2.30 pm – 5 pm, or an option for an all day ticket.
There will be a break between 1.30 – 2.30 pm for dinner, to enable attendees, helpers and authors alike to have a break.
LUNCH BREAK 1.30 – 2.30 pm (All readers will be requested to leave the signing marquee and return after)
The Saturday evening event is in the form of a gig, which will begin at 7 pm and run through to 11.30 pm. Alongside the music we will have spoken word artists reading to the audience.
The evening event is FREE to attend. All you need to do is register with Eventbrite and download your FREE tickets. Families are welcome and there will be a BBQ and Beer Tent. Soft drinks and crisps will also be available to buy. Catering to a variety of dietary requirements.
On site there will be food and drink available. More details on the Facebook page & website.

Guest Blog - Unicorns and Jellybeans for my Favorite Authors by Kenna Mckinnon

Thanks, Leanne, for the chance to give some deserving authors a boost in my post. Enough with promoting our own stuff exclusively, as you and some of the following writers know – it’s far more fun to give than to receive, and for those who are full of themselves (and you know who you are), remember that jellybeans and unicorns are more fun than a box.

My first unicorn and jellybean award goes to Mari Collier, who never stops roaring through the SF skies with her great Maca series, and her Twisted Tales from a skewed mind. Earthbouind is the first in the series and is set in the old West where a spaceship is hidden underground in Texas. The Thalian named MacDonald, with two hearts, believes it is safe. The series continues from there, to the most recent publication in the Tonath series called The Silver and the Green. You can find Mari’s books here, on her Amazon author page:
Mari has many 5-star reviews. She is a constant promoter of other authors’ books and a tireless worker for her own novels and short stories. She’s found daily on Facebook. This interesting senior lives in the desert community of Twenty-Nine Palms in California, and I’ve had the pleasure of meeting her personally on two occasions. Kudos, Mari Collier!

My second unicorn and jellybean award goes to Rich Penney, another Creativia author, new at the game and anxious for reviews. He’s written a trilogy of novels respectively called Symbiosis, Friction, and Entanglement. Rich reads quickly and posts a review just as fast. He also promotes other authors on his Facebook page. He’s a young writer and has had varied careers already. You can learn more about Rich by reading his blog found here:

No post of influential writers would be complete without mentioning Gisela Hausmann, award-winning guru of the Naked series of books. Gisela gets a unicorn and three jellybeans for the exhaustive research and excellent writing that has gone into all her Naked books, and in particular, the latest called Naked Review: How to get book reviews: What to do now that Amazon has closed all loopholes. Gisela is the Indie author’s best friend. Naked Reviews can be purchased here for less than a cup of caramel macchiato:

The next unicorn goes to my online friend, George Geisinger, whose autobiographical book called Memoirs of a Flower Child is both courageous and insightful, the struggle of a young man as a hippie in the 1960s who must overcome addictions and trauma to become the delightful person he is today. George has self-published many books written from a unique perspective. His Amazon page is here:
He is also a poet of skill and art, has studied music for two years, and has a wealth of life experience which many have missed.

No list of helpful authors would be complete without the irrepressible and humorous Karen Docter, whose Facebook posts never fail to entertain and cause her readers to ROTFL. Karen gets a colored unicorn and two jellybeans. Karen posts a weekly blog called Karen’s Killer Book Bench for authors to advertise their new releases, and hosts a Friday blog with a sneak peak about the author and their book, entitled Karen’s Killer Fixin’s. She includes a recipe from the author with each sneak peek. Her blog is found at:
She wears two hats as an Indie author – writes romantic suspense as K.L. Docter, and contemporary romance as Karen Docter. Her Amazon page with a list of her books and biography is here:
Her romances are sweet and cozy, and a refreshing change from many of the “modern” romance books that are out there now. Her Cop on Her Doorstep sounds thrilling, and is on my list of books to be read. I read Catch that Santa last Christmas and loved it. A seniors’ love story and a feisty pair of seniors they are, too!

My list is not complete. I’d like to revisit this topic at some other time. Suggestions for more unicorn and jellybean awards would be welcome.

Thanks for hosting me, Leanne. It’s been fun. Don’t forget to check out my own works at Amazon’s author page. Keep an eye out for FREE eBooks coming August 26 and more this fall!

Saturday, 5 August 2017

The complete Jakes View excerpts Ebook on Amazon.

As someone who always listens  to her fans requests I have compiled the Jakes view excerpts from this blog, tweeked and polished them and turned them into an ebook which is now on Amazon.

As promised, all the chapters you the fans voted on are in this little bonus book, clearly labled so you know exactly where you are at. I really enjoyed being in Jakes shoes for this and giving a little more insight into things from the other side. I feel that it gives you more compassion for Mr Carrero, knowing how tortured a soul he really is on the inside. 

The paperback will be another week or so as we are still tweeking the book, polishing it and any flaws we find will update on the ebook automatically, hence the fact we have released it. Fans have waited long enough for all the chapters to be finished and I am proud of how this turned out.
Writing as the male lead was a new challenge for me and one I hope I succeeded at.

So without much ado, here are the links.

Friday, 4 August 2017

Jakes view- Requested chapter from The Carrero Influence. Part 3 - Conclusion (The Dance)

Lovers of my book The Carrero Influence - Book 2 will love this brand new alternate chapter.
This is chapter 7, part 3, re-written from Jake Carrero's perspective as per requested by you, the lovely fans.  (The Dance)
Please note there is swearing and sexual references and this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.

Read at your own risk!!

Jake felt the inner pain and dread loosening a little, watched the way Emma remained calm and continued to gaze up at him with unveiled adoration. This really was different for her this time. His tense muscles relaxed as warm realisation hit him, he really had her after all. She wasn’t running or closing down, she wasn’t even pushing him away. Still in his arms and touching him freely.
'I love you... I think I've been in love with you for a very long time...' Jake let it out, like a wave of relief, something that had been on his lips for what felt like an eternity and had never had the courage to say to her. Smiling at the release and suddenly not feeling so scared anymore. Emma however burst into an instant mess of tears. Jake pulled her against his chest, confused and a little unsure how he was meant to take this at all. All he could do was hold her, stroke her hair and pray to god she was ‘happy’ crying.
'I... I…' She stammered and then got even more emotional, falling to pieces in his arms and gripping onto him tightly as flood gates of tears and sobbing opened up. All he could do was cling right back on and bury his face in her hair helplessly. His heart upping a bear and fear coming back to gnaw at his insides. Emma wasn’t much of a crier and whenever she did he hated it, made him feel pretty much like it did now. As though his insides were being twisted out in the most excruciating way and he just wanted to take it away for her.
'Don't cry Bambino... Please Emma... I didn't think telling you I loved you would cause this.' He said hoarsely, tensing his arms around her and just trying so hard to mould her every line and curve to him while supporting her. 'Say something...'
Anything please…. Tell me you want this.
'I... love… you.' It came from her so breathily, between sniffs. Jake immediately breathing out in complete relief and suddenly aware he had been holding his breath. His body went into  warm and fuzzy overdrive and for once in his life understood all that girly mushy crap about butterflies and inner tingles. The overwhelming euphoria of three little words from the only person who mattered changed everything in that one moment.
Jake lifted her chin gently, unable to stop the goofy happy smile breaking across his face and kissed her softly, he could do this for an eternity and never tire of how good she felt. How kissing her seemed to make the world stop turning and everything make sense; he could kiss Emma every second of everyday for an eternity and know it would always feel this good.
His gentle meeting of the lips set her off again into another flood of hormonal tears, only this time Jake didn’t crumble into insecurity, he smiled instead and watched her with a small shake of the head.
'Jesus Emma... If I’d known this was how it would be, I would’ve brought some tissues and a lot of chocolate.' Tangling his fingers in her soft, silky hair, no longer pained at her tears because he knew sometimes girls cried when they were happy. In this case he had no doubt his beautiful girl was happy. Her giggle through tears confirmed it and he sighed against her once more.
What am I going to do with you?
Emma looked up under lowered lashes, her make up doing a pretty good job of staying put for the most part despite the waterworks and smiled at him coyly. It had the same effect as a thud to the chest.
'They're happy tears.' She smiled once more, another sniff and some signs of regaining composure. Emma pulled her bag forward and began to search for something, he assumed a tissue, seeing as now her face was starting to get little rivers of black running subtly down them. It only made her even more god damn adorable to him and he impulsively lifted his hand to her face to start removing the traces of make up as they fell.
'Should I be crying too then?' He smiled down at her, wiping her cheek with his thumb and then switching tactics to his jacket sleeve and dabbing at her instead. He didn’t care if this was a ten-thousand-dollar suit, his baby needed a tissue and he would let her use his entire shirt if she wanted it. He wiped the most of her upset away before caging her in against the wall to just take her in. Every little detail of her in its full glory had his heart soaring, he moved in close so he could breathe her in.
'I don't think I want to see you cry.' Emma blinked up at him cutely, a face so innocent and serene that he had no resistance to her.
'Good. I'm not much of a crier and you're doing a grand enough job for the both of us... I'm happy though, you have no idea. I never thought we’d get here. I didn't think this was how you felt about me.' Jake moved in impulsively, wanting contact with her at all times and rested his brow against hers. She leaned up suddenly and bravely and kissed him this time, Knocking the wind out of him momentarily and pretty much making him the happiest guy on the planet in that second. It only ignited his deep longing for her and passion brimmed in milliseconds, bracing her face to him by sliding his hand behind her neck so he could deepen the kiss and caress her tongue with his. Emma groaned under her breath which in turn made him groan, still clueless to how much power she always had over him.
Jake pulled away before he lost all control completely and ripped her dress open, unable to just break free he sucked in her bottom full lip and gently slid away. He loved the taste of her in every way and could only imagine how much he was going to devour every single inch of her skin when he got her alone.
The way Emma was looking up at him told him that would be sooner rather than later, the unleashed raw look on her face of sheer lust had his body stirring and heat rising within. He wanted her so badly it was almost painful.
'If we keep doing this then I can promise you I won't be a gentleman for much longer.'  He warned her, voice soft as his focus stayed on the slightly kiss swollen set of perfect lips. The red lipstick was still in place and weirdly unsmeared.
'Oh, I always knew you weren't a gentleman.' She jested, biting her lip seductively and staring right back at Jakes own mouth. She wasn’t helping calm his libido one little bit.
God, I want to kiss you and fuck you nonstop.
'Hey! I've been very well behaved. You have no idea the kind of thoughts that went through my head concerning you.' He caught her wrists and pinned them up over her head, loving how it made her both vulnerable and open to his control but the way it made her bust rise up from her dress a little, peeking a little riskily on the verge of overflow. He wanted her naked more than anything and still glued to her body it was really hard to keep the obvious sign under control in his pants.
'None of that surprises me, you and your ex-rated mind. I always knew you had Casanova tendencies.’ Emma grinned up at him, shifting her pelvis closer and almost nudging him.
'Cheeky!' He threw her a fast, chaste, kiss and let her go, more than aware that he was about to lose his shit and fuck her against the wall if they kept this up. He had little control around her normally so this was only testing all his powers to the very verge of his limits. 'You're beautiful, and you're all mine!' He moved his body from hers and leaned in for another soft kiss, something he knew would be an addiction from here on in. Having this ability to just kiss her whenever he wanted was like all his birthdays coming at once and he intended to use it to its full potential.
'I'm still mad at you.' Emma slid her palms across his stomach, sending shivers of anticipation through him, her hands smoothing within his jacket which was open and sliding up across the muscles in his chest. He had to steel himself against the urge to turn to jello. Her eyes followed her progress and the tiny hint of a smile tugged at her lips, he couldn’t stop looking at her.
'I don't blame you, Bella.' He frowned. 'I'm mad at me too,' Jake replied regretfully, smoothing her hair back behind her hair and taking a moment to focus on untangling a strand from the dangling diamond cluster earring. He needed to calm down his playboy impulses if he was going to romance her into a happy ever after. She wasn’t going to be some one-night piece of fun for him, Emma was all he had been waiting for in life. The other half to his soul. He watched her carefully, regret at so many lost months eating at him, knowing if he had just been honest with her long ago then he would have always had her.
'Makes a change from being mad at me, I guess.' Emma’s smile changed to a smirk as he regarded her. Lost in how many times he could have changed the course of their relationship by saying three little words to her.
'I only got mad with you because of how I feel about you Emma... It was ripping me apart. I didn't know how to behave around you or how to deal with all this crap inside of me… Over emotional men are just narky shits.' He softly smiled, knowing it was lame as apologies went but he intended to spend every day for the next fifty years making this up to her. That time had been the worst torture of his life and even knowing he was being unfair to her at times, he couldn't help it. She truly was breaking his heart back then.
'I get mad at you because you're an asshole sometimes; nothing to do with emotions or love.' She joked, smiling widely with a hint of amusement in those gorgeous pale eyes. She moved to run her fingertips softly across his mouth again, drawing his attention to how perfect they gelled. Each touch tailored to the other almost intuitively and how she could weaken him so easily.
'We need to make this work.' Jake sighed. 'I can't walk away again... I don't want too. This past month has been unbearable, like I had my insides wrenched out.'
'Are you asking me to be your PA again?' She asked softly, looking him dead in the eye with a hint of the old Emma confidence seeping back in. He couldn’t help but smile at her.
'I'm asking for way more than that, Miele.' His hands had moved back into that blonde curled hair he loved so much, fingertips grazing her scalp as he entangled its silky smoothness between his fingers. He loved that every time he touched her hair it not only felt good but released more of her delicious scent that intoxicated him.
'Tell me what you want from me, be specific.' Emma has gone into full on PA mode, that stern yet inquisitive look, she was waiting for him to lay his cards on the table before she let too much of her own hopes out. Typical Emma, still guarding her heart until she was sure he wasn’t going to trample on her.
I love you Bambino.
Jake did not hesitate in doing what she needed.
'I want you... All of you... I want us. Just you and me and no one else. No games, no hiding, no more misunderstandings... I want you to be the one woman I share my bed and my life with. I want a real relationship with you Bambino.' He didn’t think he could spell it out any clearer than this and she deserved his full honesty after all he had put her through. Somehow though, even knowing she felt this way too, it was still terrifying to just lay his soul bare out there.
Emma threw herself against him so suddenly it almost winded him and wrapped herself tightly around him like a child would to a parent. She squeezed him as tightly as she could.
'I want that too.' She whispered so softly it was barely audible and his heart swelled ten fold, he slid his hand back into her hair, resting her head against him and cradling her close.
'You better not be crying again.' He joked, warming more when she tilted back to look up at him with wide happy eyes and the most gorgeous of Emma smiles, the one thing that had always captivated her to him was that genuine smile. Even aeons ago when they first met, any hints of her genuine smile had floored him.
'No tears... Brownies whatsits.'  Emma attempted some sort of disastrous salute that had him grinning like a kid, pushing her hand down with an indulgent look, she maybe wasn’t so perfect at everything she did but she was perfect enough. And highly amusing at times/
'This… Us... It's really happening?' Jake needed to say it aloud, needed to get to grips with the fact this was real and she wasn’t just a dream, resulting from a major emotional breakdown at losing her.
'It looks that way.' Emma wiggled her fingers into Jakes and pulled his hand to nestle against his own chest beside her face, he could feel the soft sensation of her breaths on his wrists and it was sending tingles all through him. It felt like they had always been this way with each other, so familiar and right.
'You may need to pinch me a couple of times to actually believe it, Shorty.' Jake slid her off of his body so he could bridge the height difference and kiss her once more, his hand freed from hers was now skimming across the softest expanse of creamy throat, across her shoulder slowly. Her skin felt like softest velvet.
Emma looked suddenly so very serious, her facial expression dropping in an instant and her body tensing as quickly, she looked up at him with wariness. Obviously some thought had crossed her mind that she didn't like and he braced himself for the impact.
'What about Marissa?' Her voice broke subtly, emotion under the surface and pain in the depths of those eyes, he cursed internally. Hating that this was one situation he couldn’t just wipe away, even for her.
'I don't want her! I didn't want her! It was a stupid drunken mistake. I'll be there for the baby, but as far as she's concerned, she means nothing. It's you, it will always be you.' It’s all he had, the best he could do, knowing that it was something he would need to deal with soon. He traced her eyebrow gently, trying so hard to erase that god damn soul crushing look of doubt in her eye. She was thinking about the one thing that could potentially ruin what they hadn’t even started yet.
'How do you feel about the baby?' She asked sheepishly and he knew there was no getting around this in that moment. She wanted to feel secure and it was his job to make her that way.
'I'd be lying if I said I was happy... I'm not... But I did this and I need to take responsibility. I hadn't ever thought about having kids, so this is all pretty overwhelming right now.'  Jake screwed up his face at the thought of that retched whore Marissa crossing his mind’s eye, all smug and repulsive. He shook her away just as quickly with a creeping sense of disgust that he ever went down that path.
'Don't walk away from your child.' Emma blinked up at him earnestly, her mind obviously following through to what it was like in her own childhood with a guy who didn’t want a kid. Jake leaned in to kiss her again, this time to try and erase some of that self-doubt and heartache almost impulsively. He hated that guy for ever doing that to his beautiful girl.
'That's not me Emma... I'm nothing like your father. I won't walk away.' He pushed her forehead with his assuringly. 'Can we drop this conversation for now as I've something I would much rather be doing.'  Jake grinned, determined to take her mind elsewhere and her body too if she was willing.This topic would only upset both of them and kill the joy and happiness of this moment between them. Enough of the delaying and standing in a dark hall surrounded by strangers, He wanted to take her home and make this thing real.
'Such as?' Emma smiled warily, sudden doubt as to his motives and it only made him want to grin. Always a little unsure and childlike, it was something that had always drawn him to her and made him want to take care of her. She had no clue who vulnerable and naive she often came across, even in full blown school mistress PA mode.
'Taking my girlfriend home and fucking her brains out. It's long overdue.' He grinned, hitting her with a ground moving kiss in a bid to recapture some fire between them, hands sliding around her possessively and pushing her back into the wall to support them both.

Emma kissed him back with equal fever and passion, her body moulding to his and hands sliding up inside between the buttons of his shirt. She was obviously on the same track and showing no resistance, bodies igniting with raw lust and on the verge of losing control. He knew there was no stopping them now, he was taking her home as soon as he stopped kissing her and never letting her go again.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Jakes view- Requested chapter from The Carrero Influence. Part 2 (The Dance)

Lovers of my book The Carrero Influence - Book 2 will love this brand new alternate chapter.
This is chapter 7, part 2 (more to follow) re-written from Jake Carrero's perspective as per requested by you, the lovely fans.  (The Dance)
Please note there is swearing and sexual references and this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.

Read at your own risk!!

She grinned wickedly at him, messages in their silent communication they had perfected from years of being friends. Jake tried hard not to glare and instead threw her a slight frown and a subtle warning to back off.
‘I've been working.' Emma looked quickly from Leila to him and back, an air of confusion about her but she recovered quickly and smiled softly. Jake had to tear his eyes from that perfect red lipped smile and push out thoughts of kissing her over and over again. She wasn’t normally one for bold lipstick, normally subtle shades and he was finding it near impossible to stop looking at the perfect pout and curve of lips so obviously made for kissing.  Music overtook the conversation as the band heated up a notch, a slow ballad coming across the air, making conversation near impossible.
'Oh, I promised someone a first slow dance.' Leila turned Emma harshly, shoving her into Jake hard with that wicked smile aimed right at him, a twinkle of trouble in her eye. His arms automatically caught her and pulled her into his chest, throwing Leila a look of complete intolerance; he would be having words with her later. Jake quickly put Emma upright and back on her own feet as her perfume hit him again, too much for him to bear, combined with how good touching her always felt. He shifted her away so he could gain some distance and regain control of his equilibrium.
'Keep her warm for me until I come back Jacob!' Leila grinned cheekily and took off at speed, knowing that Jake was probably about to explode and high tailing it so she could leave them alone. She knew there would be repercussions later but she didn’t really care.
'That girl...' Jake said tightly, irritation concealed but his anger simmering inside. He avoided looking at Emma, wondering how the hell he could walk away from her and leave her here alone, while looking so utterly fucking lost right now. She had an air of Bambi with big eyes and seemed to be suddenly uncomfortable with Leilas departure. Jake couldn’t control the stomach punching sensation it gave him.
'You've got to love her though.' Emma shrugged nervously, biting on her bottom lip and causing yet another wave of excruciating pain. All her little anxiety tells had always been a point of agony for him, he hated seeing her doing it but right now any little Emma’nism was just killing him more. He missed everything about her so damn much.
Do you really have no idea how god damn adorable you are?
The music was moving into full swing as couples moved around them, joining together to sway. Emma went into ultimate fidget mode almost immediately, twirling her hair like she always did when she was tense, looking around for an escape route and pretty much making him feel like the biggest asshole known to man. He watched her hand in her hair intensely for a second, lost in so many thoughts and memories, hating the habit yet pining for the familiar-ness of it. He realised she had caught his look, misunderstood what it meant and yanked her fingers out of her hair like a scolded child.
Great! Another notch of assholeness 
Jake frowned and looked about the floor, making a decision almost instantly.
'Want to dance with me, Anderson?' He had no clue why he thought this was the best course of action, all he knew was that he didn’t want to walk away and leave her here and had no desire to see anyone else dance with her. He would kick seven shades of shit out of any guy who dared touch her. She looked momentarily shocked, colour draining from her face a little and her fingers twitched as though aching to be back in her hair. Jake felt a warmth of compassion, an old memory of her looking this unsure and untrusting of his intentions once before.
'I don't bite...' Jake smiled at the memory of a long-ago moment in his office. Emma seemed to register the memory for a moment, a small smile warming her mouth and looked a little less shell shocked.
Jake didn’t wait for an answer; his body had been aching to be with hers for so long that it was almost impulsive to just reach for her. Pulling her close by the wrist, encircling her dainty smooth skin and bracing himself for the onslaught of emotions that hit him with her nearness. Emma automatically slipped into dance pose, hand in his and the other on his chest to stop the collision from the suddenness of his manoeuvre. Her palm was placed directly over his heart and with a searing touch, he was sure she could probably feel how hard and fast his heart was beating. He couldn’t tear his eyes from that perfect red mouth as he drew closer. Emma looked stricken suddenly, a mixture of emotions flitting across her face so fast he has no clue what to even think.
'I can't do this...' She whispered suddenly, her voice breaking and he could have sworn he saw a glint of a tear in her eye but she was turning from him and trying to break free. Jake impulsively caught her chin with his fingers, tilting her back to him so he could try and read what she was feeling. Confused at seeing a look that to him spelled out complete heartbreak and rendered him almost immobile as he tried to piece together what it meant. Before he had a chance to speak or control the sudden hammering of his chest she had broken free and was pushing away from him.
'I need to go.' She had yanked her chin away, face downward so her hair spilled forward to hide her face from him. Jake felt panic rising within him, confusion and emotion consuming him, he stood motionless, unsure how to react as he watched her move away out of sight into the moving crowds.
Jakes head became a mass of thoughts and feelings all warring for space, chaos clouding logical thought as his body seemed to jolt into a mess of heart pounding sickening panic. He kept questioning that look, trying to dissect in seconds why she would look at him the way he had been looking at himself in the mirror for weeks. His head skimming through memories and conversations of the last weeks with her, titbits of clues and puzzle pieces. He remembered the last song she sent him and reached into his jacket for his phone impulsively. Looking up to see if she was still close enough to catch and realising she was completely gone.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Jake was glued to the spot, uncertainty keeping him here despite every part of his being screaming at him to go after her. It was then that it hit him, like a sudden lightning bolt moment. He had to know if he was just imagining it or if she could feel the same way for him that he did about her. Looking at the phone in his hand he knew the way to ask. Hands shaking, he skimmed songs quickly until he found one which had been plaguing the radio for the last week. Sending it on out into the network and to her phone without hesitation and hoping to god she had her phone with her. He had nothing else to lose, he had lost everything when she had walked out of his office and standing here watching her leave was only a harsh reminder that he would never love anyone the way he loved her. He needed to be sure.
Jake Carrero has sent an iTunes gift to Emma Anderson.
The email notice popped up on his phone and his stomach churned with nerves.
Jake Carrero you sent 'Jessie Wares - 'Say You Love Me.'
He knew there was no backing out of it now, she could only take that song one way and he would finally know for sure if he had ever stood a chance with her. The world seemed to stop around him, music dulling out to nothing as the rush of blood ran through his ears. Close to his first ever panic attack he was sure his heart might explode.
Come on Emma, any sort of answer please.
He was staring at his phone, motionless in a sea of dancing bodies and completely unaware of anything except the blank screen in front of him.
It seemed like an eternity before an email notification pinged up on his screen, his heart lurching and his stomach dropping with fear, with trembling hands he hit the screen and opened the email.
Emma Anderson has gifted you an Itunes song.
Emma Anderson has sent you - 'Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This'
Jake's world stopped, a moment of pause as he took this in and it slowly dawned on him what her response meant. He read it twice to be sure before impulse took over and he was moving fast in the direction she left. Body alive with energy and tingling. He was on hyper drive and determined that his only goal now was finding the girl who was about to be kissed to within an inch of her life. He was soaring, still desperate to push through the crowds and just find her.
Emma loved him. His Emma really loved him, the way he loved her.
His eyes were scanning the floor, people getting in his way were moved with a little force, ignoring people trying to stop him and talk. He just had one thing on his mind and he was damned if anyone was going to get in his way. He needed to find her and just see her, talk to her. Every blonde head and red dress was being assessed as he moved at a fast pace, shrugging off hands and hello’s, sliding through groups of people with determination.
And then, there she was. Stopping him dead in his tracks, her eyes focused on him at the edge of the dance floor as though she had been waiting for him to find her. Looking like everything in the world that mattered to him, standing stock still only feet away. His entire being halted.
Jake didn’t hesitate a moment longer, the look on her face said everything he needed to act right now. She was wide eyed and distraught, heartbroken and almost begging him to come to her. Who was he to refuse when all he had ever wanted was for her to want him this way. His feet had him marching her way, fast long strides to get to his end goal as soon as humanly possible. He didn’t stop when he got to her, just intent on his purpose, aching to do what he had planned when he found her, hands automatically cupping her face and pulling her to him, cupping her jaw, and meeting her mouth with unleashed force and passion. He kissed her as though his life depended on it, revelling in the way she sagged into him and kissed him back with matched fever. Jake was soaring, his heart erratic and he knew this was all he would ever need, just her and him and the ability to be this way with her.
She clung to him as much as he held her, matching his passion and movement and neither braking away from the intensity of the meeting for long minutes. They were breathing hard, oblivious to the room around them and only focused on each other. He couldn’t stop himself from kissing her but he knew he had to do more, he had to tell her how he felt. He had to let her talk and confirm that this was something more than sex or lust. He needed her to know that he was serious about her, that for him, she was his forever. He needed to say the words he had been holding back for months. Jake needed to tell her that he was hopelessly in love with her.
Breaking away finally, only enough to rest his forehead against hers and breathe her in, he just stared into the depths of those cool blue eyes that seemed to see right down into his very soul. Neither seemed to have words, just matched shallow breathing and oblivious to the room and people around them. He didn’t care if reporters were taking pictures or people were staring right now, all he cared about was her and what she was thinking.
'Come with me?' Jake finally managed a whisper, tearing himself physically away from being so close to her and aching to get her alone. Despite the noise of the orchestra and the hustle and bustle around them, she seemed to hear him loud and clear, never tearing her eyes form his and nodding. Jake couldn’t help the surge of happiness running through him, couldn’t resist brushing his mouth against hers once more. Emma always tasted sweet, like cakes and candy and her, a heady combination that was addictive to him, he didn’t even care if her lipstick was all over him right now.
He let go of her and slid her small dainty hand in his, interlocking fingers possessively and leading the way towards the main entrance fast. He couldn’t stop the dizzying euphoria coursing through him or the sense of urgency in getting her alone. He just felt like this was all surreal after what felt like a lifetime of not being able to have her.
Winding through the crowded room, Jake could feel his impatience rising with every person who got in his way. Familiar faces stopped them and even though he tried to deflect the attention he had to stop when flanked by a client who was a little more forceful in getting his attention. The stocky man seemed oblivious to the young beautiful girl he was so obviously trying to usher out of the room with him. Jake could feel himself almost growling with frustration as he launched into a speech about some funding nonsense for a new venture. Jake glanced down at Emma to check she was okay, to check she was real and this wasn’t some weird hallucination. That face looking trustingly up at him only tore at him more and made him more determined to get her alone.
God , I love you so fucking much Bambino.
Jake's attention was pulled back by the grey-haired suit extending a hand, some feeble attempt at agreeing to a lunch date for a business chat. Jake hadn’t even been listening, so overly aware of the warm, soft hand in his and the way Emma was curling gently around his side, He wanted to have more contact with her than this. He wanted to wrap himself up in her. Pulling her in closer, Jake tucked her slender arm under his and grasped her hand a little firmer, closer but still not close enough to be able to deal with these idiots holding them up. Right now he would agree to pitching a million at any stupid idea as long as they shut the fuck up and got out of his way.
Finally suit moved and Jake made a move to get them going once more, they didn’t get far before another one slid in front, blocking their passage. Jake almost yelled at him in sheer frustration.
For fucks sakes.
Impatience and complete frustration had him nodding eagerly, trying to slide past and pulling Emma into him a little forcefully. He was trying to palm the suit off with a hand wave but he was having none of it.
‘So, Mr Carrero, we could meet up…’ Jake zoned out, focusing only on her, sliding her hand free and instead putting an arm around her waist and bodily moulding them side by side, she impulsively rested her head against his chest and he almost melted into a mushy puddle on the floor. She had no idea what she could do to him with minimal effort. Jake kissed her temple, he just wanted to be done here and to be able to get this all out. To look her in the eye and ask her straight out if she wanted to be with him for now until eternity. That’s all he could think about.
‘Yeah sure, just call my office to make a lunch appointment. Anytime.’ Jake almost waved the guy out of his face, missing his handshake a little prematurely and just moving to get past quickly, oblivious to the awkwardness he had just caused in the man left flailing hands in mid-air.
Jake pulled Emma with him fast, seeing an opening within the standing people and aiming for it before anyone else snagged him to a standstill. Emma stumbled on her shoes and he almost cursed at the fact he knew he was practically dragging her, guilt hitting him hard and knocking him for six.
'I'm sorry... I just need to get you out of here quickly... I need us to be alone. To talk.' He sounded nervous as hell and maybe he was, all he knew was this place was starting to piss him off and looking for escape was proving to be more difficult than he planned. Getting them finally to the main hall, he looked around for privacy, spying a little door marked staff that was sat ajar and showed a dark unused hall.
Leading the way once more, he slowed down as Emma lifted her dress and seriously thought about scooping her up to carry her for a moment. Looking around at the volume of milling guests he thought better of it and slowed his pace to let her keep up. Looking at her in that dress, her sexy as hell shoes peeking out in all their tall stiletto beauty, he felt his body go into immediate hunger overdrive. God, he wanted more than just to kiss her, he wanted her naked and under him. Her shoe choices had always made him horny, she had perfect legs and he loved nothing more than seeing them slid into shoes like this. If he got her home in this dress, or even out of that dress, those shoes would be staying on.
Checking around he opened the door further into a dim abandoned hall and pulled her inside with him, turning her so he could push her back against the wall behind the cover of the door and unleashing every urge he had been fighting out there to kiss her again. This time the force of all the pent-up lust hit out harder, flooring her with a kiss that sent him into hunger overdrive. He could barley control the way she made him feel, the way he wanted her and as she crumbled into him he had to crush her further into the wall to hold her up. His hands slid around her curves, fingers smoothing over sweet warmth.
Sense seemed to catch up with him with the unleashing of pent up passion and doubts started to creep in. He hadn’t let her talk even once since he kissed her, he hadn’t let her confirm that she even wanted this.
Isn’t this always what I do to her?  Push myself onto her with force so that she can’t do anything but play along.
Jake tilted his head back, unable to physically let her go even though insecurity and doubt were now flooding through his over wired brain, he was a jumbled mess of emotions and had no way to deal with the flood of self-doubt that had just hit him square in the stomach. He frowned, swallowing down his fear and realising she still hadn’t said anything, just staring at him helplessly and ripping his heart to shreds with silence. It was starting to feel all too familiar and every single instance just like this came flooding to mind. A million rejections that had started with promise.
'I'm waiting on it Emma.' His voice was low and pained, hating himself for his tone and acting this way after the way he had just kissed her. He was an emotional mess and had been for months. He just couldn’t bear any of this anymore and he needed her to just say it.
'On what?' She sounded young and vulnerable, doe eyed and meek. He wanted to punch himself in the face for his sudden change towards her but he couldn’t help it. Part of him was back peddling and getting ready for another scene that left him here and Emma walking away, preparing for another stab in the chest.
'The door to hit me in the face again... Another reason you think we shouldn't be together.' He said sardonically, his tone flat as though already resigned that this was too good to be true. He felt the overwhelming fear rising up his spine, he knew from experience that her kissing him back meant nothing.
Emma shook her head, her face softening and lifted her fingers to trace the shape of his lips. The touch sending a tingling sensation right through his very soul, catching her hand to press it to his face and forge this moment to memory incase it was the last. Emma smiled at him.

'I'm not going to do that... Jake. I won't push you away again.'

Jakes view- Requested chapter from The Carrero Influence. Part 1 (The Dance)

Lovers of my book The Carrero Influence - Book 2 will love this brand new alternate chapter.
This is chapter 7, part 1 (more to follow) re-written from Jake Carrero's perspective as per requested by you, the lovely fans.  (The Dance)
Please note there is swearing and sexual references and this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.

Read at your own risk!!

Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately.
The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out.
‘Sorry. What?’ He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his moulded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation.
‘For god’s sake Jacob. I have been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.’ Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood and he just shifted forward again to try and ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly.
‘Don’t know what you’re talking about. And less of the Jacob…’ He shrugged with one shoulder and pushed images of Emma from his head for the millionth time. He wondered if maybe he should remind Margo that personal relationship aside, he was still her boss.
Damn Emma for always being inside his head.
Sure!…. Because moping around like a love-sick kid for weeks on end after impulsively firing the best assistant you ever had means nothing. Look…. You may not want to spell things out to me but it is pretty obvious you crossed the line with her, problem being that for some stupid reason you then let her go or should I say, pushed her away.’ Margo moved towards him and perched her tight skirted ass on his desk the way Emma used to do anytime they had time in here. He shook his head to dislodge it from his mind’s eye and instead went back to typing pointless words on a ruined document. ‘Stop that.’ Margo covered his hand with hers and stopped him from continuing. He yanked his hands free impulsively, agitated, pushing back his chair and getting up to walk up and down the length of his windows, finding no peace in the skyline out there for once.
‘I didn’t just let her go…. It was never going to be anything more for her, so I stopped myself from crossing that line again….. Why are we even talking about this? Is there something I can actually help you with?’ He stomped back to his seat, not sure what the hell he was even doing and slumped back down, creasing his shirt and not giving a damn, running his fingers through his cropped hair and frowning once more at the stupid document on screen.
‘You can figure out what you’re doing with these then… Deal with it yourself. I do not happen to like dealing with the Giovanni stubbornness in you, short sighted and pig headed to boot!’ She threw the paper she had been waving around in her hand on top of his laptop keyboard in a distasteful manner. Taking them idly he noticed tickets stapled to the top corner with Emma’s name printed on. He looked up at her quizzically with a frown.
‘What are they?’ He genuinely had no clue.
‘Tickets to that infernal dance you wanted all the staff to attend. I suggest she gets them and decides for herself if she wants to see you.’ Margo didn’t wait for a response, she was turning on her heel and moodily trotting out on stilettos that made an echoing clip clop at speed. She was pissed at him still, had been since she came back and found out what he had done concerning Emma.
‘Margo? What the hell?’ It was futile, she was waving him away and playing deaf. She kicked his outer door shut to emphasise that she was still seriously furious with him. He had endured weeks of her snippy attitude and stern chastising already, he had no clue why he hadn’t fired her ass for it. Probably because deep down he knew he deserved it, he had behaved like an ass hole and Margo was only thinking about Emma and how this must hurt her. All he had thought about since her departure was how much this must be hurting her.
He lifted the tickets again and read over the name printed clearly in gold foiling, a thumb tracing her first name slowly as that familiar ache in his heart panged to the forefront. Without hesitation, he hit his intercom buzzer to Margo’s desk.
‘Send them to her as soon as you can.’ He let it go without expecting a response, chucked them back to the outer part of his desk and sank back covering his face with the back of his hands and sighing. He had no idea if she would even go to the dance but part of him wanted it to be her choice if she did. He wanted to see her yet he didn’t, because it would hurt either way.
The door to his office opened almost instantly, the clip clop of heels, the swish of fabric and waft of Margo’s perfume, by the time he moved his hands she was retreating to her own part of the office carrying the sheet of paper and still freezing him out. He rolled his eyes and thought better of trying to chastise her about this ongoing behaviour, Margo was like a second mother to him and his own mother would probably be acting the same way right about now. He had better get used to her angry stand off because he knew she wasn’t going to let up on him anytime soon.
* * *
Jake pulled at the collar off his tux repeatedly, trying to stop the choking sensation of wearing a bow tie and ignored the glances his way. He had been here only minutes and already showing up single was attracting way too much attention, probably because he had never come to an event dateless in years. He could feel the judgemental and surprised looks from the array of rich and minor celebrities in the ball room, less than an hour after opening and he was already hating it here.
‘Hola!’ Leila butted into his thoughts and slid an arm through his confidently. ‘Looking as suave as always my lovely.’ She grinned up at him with that cheeky youthful face he adored like a sister and just yanked at his collar once more, stifling in this crowded ballroom and hating having to dress up in this monkey suit. She pulled his hand away and started to fix his crooked bow tie for him, slapping his hand down when he tried again to get at his top button.
‘You look nice, classy dress.’ His eyes swept the long black glittering ball gown with the peak of pink at the neckline while she fussed over him, typically Leila. ‘You brush up pretty well for a skinny tomboy.’ He was relieved to be released when she had done fluffing him over.
‘Shut up loser.’ Leila nipped his bicep with her overly long manicured nails, arm slid back into place inside his and threw him a suddenly serious look. ‘She’s coming you know? She text me, I don’t think she knows that I know.’
Jake swallowed hard, an impulsive response he had no control over, frowning as the stomach lurching sensations hit him again. This had been happening all day.
‘What do you expect me to say to that?’ He focused his gaze across the room, uncomfortable with this topic of conversation and already wishing he had never confided in Leila about any of this over the phone the night before. She was unpredictable sometimes and he knew she rooted for Emma like no other. She had been one of the worst to give him a hard time over sending her away.
‘I expect you to look happy at least. Jake. You need to at least tell her how you feel……’ Jake held his hand up and hushed her, it was all new to Leila and nothing he had not heard before from Margo, his mother and hell, even Daniel.
‘Look. Stop. Not the time or place Leila, so get any dumb thoughts out of your head about interfering in this.’ He threw her a warning eyebrow raise and hated that her stubborn jut of the chin became more prominent. he had no energy for a Leila manoeuvre tonight.
‘Oh, for god’s sake! Look just stop being arsey as fuck and try and act like you’re happy to see her when she gets here. She did nothing wrong Jake and you need to man up and stop sulking anytime anyone mentions her name.’ Leila jutted her hip out and almost slammed her hand on it.
Jake glared at her, his own mood taking a nose dive, a skill Leila had since childhood..
‘You can stop looking at me like that too or else I will poke you in the eye with my new nails. Do you like them by the way? Extra sharp incase you’re ass-hole best mate shows up to piss me off.’ She swayed around her sparkling pink nails.
‘Stunning’ Jake replied flatly and then dodged her pretend cat like claw aimed at his face. Leila was one of those annoying friends that you let get away with murder because they were genuinely more family than friend. At times though he just wanted to strangle her, tonight was one of those nights after a full day of her constant texts, questions and lectures.
‘I can see you watching for her you know.’ Leila cut in, looking at him smugly and lifting one eyebrow as she edged in close. Not that it made a difference as she hadn’t bothered to lower her voice over the in-house orchestra blaring some Mozart.
‘Jesus! Leila for fucks sake…’ He lowered his voice when he realised he had just snapped loudly and people were looking his way. ‘I’m going to the bar, you can stay here and piss someone else off for a change.’ He dropped her arm from his and moved away, striding aggressively in the direction of hordes of overly dressed up strangers in a bid to get some head space. He hated that she was right though, he had been scanning the crowd ever since he got here. On edge, nervous and tense and just watching for the one girl in the world that he couldn’t mentally escape from. He had been a fool to kiss her only days ago, to keep ending up with her no matter how hard he tried to stay away. He knew he was only torturing himself and dragging this out.
The inner floor was full of people mulling around in various degrees of expensive formal wear. The music loud and invading from the full orchestra as he pushed through people that wanted to cling to him and bask in his presence.
Jake strode purposefully through a heavy crowd of glittering women in floor length dresses, coming out into a clearing with a side step away from an over eager pair of hands and walked smack bang into the one face that made his heart stop beating.
Emma walked into the clearing at the exact moment he did and they both just seemed to stop and stare at one another, his heart pounding erratically as it recovered, his breathing becoming shallow. She looked beyond his wildest dreams, beautiful. Wearing a fitted floor length red dress that left little to his imagination and seemed to defy gravity while clinging to her bust and waist. He could barely swallow, taking in every perfect flawless curve up to the face of perfection and that wild hair he just wanted to tangle around his fingers at every opportunity. She looked like a Hollywood star from the fifties, perfection in every way and effortless grace. She stood out from everyone in this room, hell, to him she stood out form every single woman in the world. She always had.
They stood motionless, feet apart. Tension crackling in the air between the and neither seemed to know how to react or what to say. All Jake can think about is what it was like to have her in his arms, to feel her against him and how much he wanted to touch her right about now.
'Oh, my god, Emma!' Leila's excitable voice grabbed her attention as she dived on Emma from the Right of Jake, she had obviously followed him when he headed to the bar. Throwing herself around Emma, who was only inches taller and almost hauling her off her shoes. Jake didn’t move, just continued to watch her, unable to tear his eyes from that face that could stop the world from turning. He didn’t care that the women just to his left were trying to capture his attention subtly.
'Whoa, Leila.' Emma choked, laughter breaking over her delicate face and changing the apprehension to knock out beauty. Jake stiffened, trying to keep his emotions in check and trying to hide any reactions she caused him. Just being this close to her, unable to just be how they used to be was complete agony and his heart had continued some sort of rumba inside his chest.
'I've missed you, millions! Emails are not the same Miss Ems. You look freaking sensational!' Leila spun Emma round and sent her reeling, losing her footing on high shoes, Jake moved swiftly forward and caught her mid tumble. Pulling her against him despite every one of his senses telling him to let her go. The feel of her body against his sent an electric jolt through him, heating his blood and making his stomach lurch with emotion, she smelled better than good and her scent would only keep haunting him even after he left here now that he had the smell of her on his tuxedo.
Jake stood her up carefully, holding her upper arms until she found her footing once more and released her as soon as she was steady. He knew the danger of keeping her close and he just couldn’t handle her proximity with her looking as devastating as she did tonight.
'Careful Leila.' Jake scorned, catching the wicked gleam in her eye of a calculated plot she had brewed up. Jake narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head over the top of Emma. Moving to look away as she turned back to him, incase she saw what was transpiring. She seemed to focus on him for a moment and as much as he wanted to just turn back and dive into those baby blue eyes, he couldn’t bear it.

‘I can't help being so happy to see her Jake, you keep her hidden from me.'